When someone you know calls to say goodbye – really say goodbye – it can catch you off guard. A friend of mine recently did just that. Diagnosed with a terminal illness and entering into palliative care, he reached out to not just bid his farewells, but to give thanks.

“You’re one of the good guys,” he told me. “Thank you.”

How is one meant to reply? What do you say to that? How do you respond to someone who has clearly begun the process of saying their goodbyes?

Confronting one’s mortality is never easy. But when you’re facing a timeline – a prognosis with a finite horizon – it may be a gift in disguise. Unlike the sudden, unpredictable losses that leave affairs undone and words unsaid, a terminal diagnosis may create the opportunity for clarity. It creates time to reflect, reassess, and say the things that matter to those who have mattered the most.

Facing the end invites a different kind of thinking. For many, it’s a time to revisit one’s approach to life, including estate plans. Is this really what I meant? Does this reflect my values? Have I communicated enough with the people I love, not just about money, but about my gratitude, my intentions, my hopes for their future?

Consider JPMorgan’s CEO Jamie Dimon. He had two brushes with death – throat cancer in 2014 and acute aortic dissection in 2020.  He survived both, but not before using the moments to reassess his path. He has spoken about how those experiences made him reconsider what legacy really means. He began to give away more of his wealth and took pride not only in what he had built, but in his children finding their own way without expectation. It was “clarity through crisis.”

You don’t have to be ultra-wealthy to take inventory. Most of us want the same things in the end: peace, closure and the knowledge that we’ve done right by those we love. That’s why this is a moment not just for financial planning, but for emotional reconciliation.

If you’re married, have you had the hard conversations? If you pass first, do you want your spouse to be free to remarry without guilt or financial worry? If you have children, how do you want to prepare them – practically and emotionally – for what you’ll leave behind? Does each child need the same – the same conversation, or the same financial support? Or do they have differing needs?

Too many of us put these decisions off. But end-of-life clarity is powerful. I know of a woman in her 30s battling breast cancer and who required a double mastectomy. She quit her job and took a vacation with friends to celebrate her life whilst she could. It wasn’t about escape; it was about choosing how – and with whom – she wanted to live her remaining days.

That’s the mindset to strive for – not morbid, but meaningful. If you could sit in the seat of someone who knows their time is limited, what would you do differently? Who would you thank, who would you forgive – or ask forgiveness from? What conversations would you like to have?

I believe that there is a responsibility to prepare those you will leave behind. Talk with your family. Explain your choices. Revisit your estate plan, as well as your end-of-life directives. Make sure the trustees you’ve chosen understand your values and intentions and not just your assets.

And most importantly, take the time to say thank you. To mentors. To friends. To colleagues. To those who helped shape the life you’ve lived. In fact, don’t wait for illness to force the conversation. Pick up the phone. Have it now. Tomorrow is uncertain.

In the end, clarity isn’t about finality. It’s about presence. And there’s no greater gift to leave behind than a life of intention and gratitude, well expressed.

If you could use some guidance about how to have this type of conversation, how you should frame it and with whom, let’s talk. I’ve worked with many executives, high net worth families and heads of family offices who needed to work through these types of complicated conversations. In truth, having the conversation needn’t be hard. Knowing what to say and how to frame the discussion is often the best way to start it.