Most people try to calculate their net worth by looking at their banking, investment, or portfolio accounts and adding together everything they have accumulated. Can you blame them? It’s how many of us have been accustomed to measuring our “wealth.”.

I would argue that for many parents, it’s the wrong calculation. Your possessions and balance sheet may make you wealthy on paper. However, in my opinion your children reflect your true wealth.

My wife and I are very wealthy, without taking into consideration any measure of the traditional “net worth.” Our two children are happy, successful. respectful and well adjusted. They are focused, not wayward, and enjoy spending time with family.

They’ve enjoyed life’s finer things, like a comfortable and stable upbringing, travel and higher education.

Many families I chat with, regrettably, have raised children rife with expectations – new cars, unlimited spending, and – worst of all – an entitled, spoiled attitude. They don’t want, they demand. They don’t give, they take. And in many cases, they will be raising the next generation of that family line.

These mental trappings arguably have little to do with money. It’s about attitude. It’s the stage that’s been set. The car, the latest-generation iPhone or iPad, the credit card with no spending limit – or strings attached – are doing more harm than good.

Wealth, in my opinion, comes from happy, well-adjusted and content children, who realise that they carry on their shoulders the weight of true generational wealth.

In that way, think of your kids as your investment account, or even tending a garden. Just as you would a watch your stock or real estate portfolio, or trim the hedges in your garden, you have to keep a keen eye on your children. Their performance in school and society, athletics and extra curriculars, when they’re home, and out with friends. To follow your investments, you must invest time and attention.

Money isn’t attention. Time is. Talk with them. Discuss their daily affairs and long-term goals. Be that ear, and that shoulder. Be present. Connect. Show – sincerely show – your love. Showing your love will likely lead to kids who love their kids.

Think about this: although you will love your grandchildren, will they be kids you want to be around – if you raised their parents as entitled and obnoxious children?

We’ve written about the importance of family meetings in the past. When your kids are your investment, this is yet another reason to spend intentional time together as a family. Ideally, you’ve shared, even collaborated on, your vision, value and mission. If you don’t, connections might be lost – they’ll find no reason to connect with you. You may lose not only your kids but your family line.

I mentor young, underprivileged children. I interviewed a young lady recently who was competing for a college scholarship. At 18, she had spent her youth working to earn money for college. She was singularly focused, even though she was homeless and had no family around her.

When I told her how strong, powerful and impressive she was, she broke down in tears. She never thought of herself as “wealthy;” why would she – she spent her youth rarely having two pennies to rub together. Yet, I shared with her that she had true wealth. She was impressive.

Your family may have money, but do you have this kind of wealth? Just as you would with your investments, watch your allocation, your attention, and your growth.

If you need a little guidance seeing the difference between supposed and real wealth, let’s chat. You may be right where you belong. If not, a few simple investments in time, energy and attention could set your children on the path to a better tomorrow.